Another Day


20150728_061255There was an incident a month or so ago… when all hell broke loose between two of my sons. The things that happened that day changed me. I won’t share details out of love and respect for their privacy. Since then, though, I’ve not had more than a couple “good” days in a row. By good, I mean days that I don’t cry. Days that I don’t sit around depressed. Days that I feel like I am happy.

Today was a not so good day, and oddly enough I wasn’t sitting around depressed.  I was bubbling inside with a rage, all day at work. It didn’t seem to have a source, I mean, nothing happened to make me angry. Suppressing it has exhausted me. And now, as I sit at home, I realize it’s just a stage of grief. I mourn all that has happened. And especially how it has affected my relationships with my sons. I am sad to the core, and I know all too well that you can’t rush grief.

Hoping tomorrow is a good day. And that soon I can have three in a row. Or more.